The Mavericks of Wrestling Podcast, Episode 2

Jeff Jarrett: Hello all and welcome to… this is not My World. And this is not The Jim Cornette Experience. Nor is this Corney’s Drive Thru… No, This is the Mavericks of Wrestling podcast! Episode Two. I am J-E-haha-double-F J-A-haha-double-R-E-double-TT! And my co-host is the incomparable, 16 time manager of the year award winner, 7 time over hall of fame inductee, Mr. Jim Cornette. How you doing, Corney?

Jim Cornette: What the hell are you so chipper about?

JJ: I woke up breathing this morning next to smoking hot wife. Everything after that is a gift from God.

JC: The only thing worse than you people when you’re being hypocrites is when you’re being happy, you know that?

JJ: Love you too, Corney. Fans, Mavericks Nation, Corney’s upset. And yes, Survival of the Fittest was a rough night for the Mavericks.

JC: That’s putting it <> mildly. Barry lost the US title. There’s no shame in losing to the Destroyer, but by god, that was the only gold we had! And you gave away one of the four title matches we get control over to get the Valiants a shot at the Road Warriors. Which is fine. It’s a tough mountain to climb, but Jimmy and Johnny didn’t stand a chance after being jumped by Vanity. And to make it worse, Bam Bam lost to the <> murderer!

JJ: Alleged. Don’t get us sued, Jim.

JC: Right, ‘alleged’. And we didn’t get to finish things with Bobby and Stan. So how can you sit there smiling?

JJ: Because it’s a marathon, Corney, not a sprint. Yeah, it was a rough night and it sucks Barry lost the title, but the money is in the chase my friend. Barry will rebound, not a doubt in my mind. Plus, did you see how Curt did against Harley? He’s the gold standard right now. We got dogs in the hunt and it’s just a matter of time.

JC: I hope you are right.

JJ: As for the title match we promised to Natural Selection in exchange for the Valiant Brothers getting the title shot against The Road Warriors, you know the Mavericks of Wrestling philosophy, we’ll work with anyone if it makes the best show for Mavericks Nation and the TCW fans.

JC: Stop trying to make Mavericks Nation a thing.

JJ: And I’ll be making a major announcement about that title match that we agreed to give to Natural Selection, I will be making an announcement about that during our interview with our special guest this week: Natural Selection’s Bobby “The Brain” Heenan.

JC: Oh, I’m looking forward to this.

JJ: Corney, I’m sorry to do this to you, but I talked to the bosses and… You can’t be part of this interview.

JC: What?!?

JJ: We’re going to keep it civil and things are too hot between you, Dennis and Randy and Natural Selection. I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the studio for this next segment. But I promise I will deliver your challenge to Heenan. Do you have any other message you want me to deliver to him?

JC: Yeah, he can go <> himself. Deliver that message for me.

<<*Cornette throws down his headset and storms out of the studio*>>

JJ: I’m sorry about that folks. We’re going to take a break, and after these messages from our sponsors Simply Chef and TCW ‘It Takes 3’, the new match three mobile game featuring all your favorite TCW stars, we’ll, I mean, I’ll be joined by Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan.

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Jeff Jarrett: And we’re back and folks I’m joined at this time by our spec- wait, what are you doing here Boogie?

*Boogie Woogie Man Jimmy Valiant has entered the studio and taken Jim Cornette’s usual spot*

Boogie Woogie: Oh man! I heard you were interviewing Bobby and I had to be here for it! Outta sight!

JJ: Right… okay joining me and Boogie Woogie, I guess, representing Natural Selection is the one and only Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. Welcome, Bobby, to the podcast.

Bobby Heenan: Thanks, Jeff.... are we talking about wrestling or poor grooming... what's up with this guy?

JJ: Boogie’s a character, no doubt about that.

BW: Bobby, baby! Congratulations on all your success brother. I know all the street people were cheering for your team!

BH: Of course they are! Natural Selection is the pinnacle of wrestling dominance. Why wouldn't they cheer for us? You saw the match, the only reason that circus freak beat Buddy was that Commissioner Dragon warned him to get out of the way. Otherwise it was goodnight giant.

BW: Have mercy!

JJ: Brain, are you questioning Commissioner Danielson’s impartiality?

BH: Lets just say there have been alot of coincidences that have gone against Natural Selection. I understand though, how else would the rest of you be able to keep up?

BW: Man, these National Selection cats sound wild! We should party!

JJ: Natural, Boogie.

BW: Everything about Boogie is Natural, baby! It’s an herb man, it grows in the earth from mother Gia!

JJ: I’m sorry, Bobby. I did want to sincerely congratulate you and Natural Selection on Bruiser Brody’s impressive world title victory.

BH: Bruiser is going to hold the title for a long time. He's a throwback from another time. The man has no fear... feels no pain. He just goes out there and takes people apart. I'd even be afraid of him if he wasn't on my side.

BW: Hey! Maybe it’s time for Boogie Woogie to get a title shot? I could be Television champion!

JJ: Boogie, there is no Television championship. Also, you just had a title shot. You and Johnny faced the Road Warriors at Survival of the Fittest.

BW: Did we win?

JJ: No.

BW: Dang.

JJ: Boogie, why don’t you go get a sandwich or something while we take our ad break. After these words from our sponsors, Pro Wrestling Tees dot com and Save with Conrad, I’ll be back with Bobby Heenan where we’ll talk about the rest of the results at Survival of the Fittest and, yeah, we’re going to get into the Midnight Express situation.

BW: There are sandwiches? Dyn-o-mite!!!

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Jeff Jarrett : And we’re back with Bobby The Brain Heenan, of Natural Selection. Bobby, sorry about Boogie there, he’s certainly a character.

Bobby Heenan: If you mean like a brainless cartoon mouse? yeah, he sure is. Where'd you dig him up anyway? You should have listened to Cornette more and picked a decent tag team.

JJ: The Valiants gave it their all but came up short against the Road Warriors but came up short at Survival of the Fittest. Again, Brain, great job on the event. Were you surprised by any of the results?

BH: I was a little disappointed in the my boys getting eliminated so early in the Battle Royal... those things can be pretty chaotic, though, and of course everyone was targeting us to make sure we didn't win. Still, though, Beautiful Bobby came within a whisker of pulling it out. I would have loved to see Vanity get the US title, but they are still working things out between them, they'll get there. I think the biggest surprise, though, is how easily Dibiase's oaf got distracted and cost his team the match. You'd think he could hire some better henchman that some 80s commie rejects.

JJ: Speaking of DiBiase, your now on the receiving end of his claims to ‘own’ the title your man holds; not unlike the nonsense he claimed with regards to Curt’s title match at Zero. Now you saw how we handled it <<*Jeff holds up four fingers*>> what should we expect when Dave Taylor gets his hands on DiBiase?

BH: Ted is a good man... it's unfortunately that he gets these delusions of grandeur sometimes. He just can't seem to accept he's a good wrestler, but not a GREAT one. My English friend is just the man to remind him. As far as the title goes... he can talk all he wants. Does he want to come into the cage and face Brody? I don't think so.

JJ: DiBiase doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to fight his own battles, that’s for sure. And I tell you this, I personally am rooting for Dave Taylor. Well, Bobby, we’ve been having a nice civil talk, but it’s time we got into it. At Survival of the Fittest, Vanity attacked the Valiants. Jimmy Snuka got the better of Terry Gordy and I know Bam Bam wants another bite of that apple. And, clearly, nothing was settled between the Midnight Expresses. Things are heated right now between our respective teams.

BH: Like I said Double J.... Bobby and Stan are done with your fake Midnight Express. They've beat them every time, and we don't need to fight them all year. Corny knows.. that's why he told you to take another team. Don't feel bad though, there's always next year. As far as the Valiants go, they asked for a title shot and I gave it to them... how is that heated? Your boy there doesn't seem to know what decade it even is, so who knows what happened in the back for that little ruckus, but hey, if they want a fight with Vanity we're always willing. Mr. Snuka has been coming along very well. When I found him he was a mess and probably going to jail for life. He's only still wrestling because I guaranteed his good behavior. So far it's worked pretty well.... keep him away from his...tribal.. origins and remind him he just a great wrestler and he seems to do great things. He does what he's told and has had some success... what more can you ask for in a client? Guys like Gordy need direction... he's got some talent but he's always been better with someone around to lead him.. but maybe you're not up to the task?

JJ: Corney thought you’d say something along those lines. He told me to make you an offer. If you agree to another match between Bobby and Stan and Dennis and Randy, they will agree to two stipulations. First, Corney will be locked in a shark cage at ringside to keep him from getting involved and second, the losing team must give up the Midnight Express name, forever. What do you say?

BH: Corney does live up to his name doesn't he. Has to be i the center of it all? Make himself the focus. It's not about him, Those old farts just want to try to capitalize on what Stan and Bobby have built.. Corney included. He's just mad I got one over on him and took his favorites where they deserved to be, instead of where he hoped he could get them for a deal. His involvement doesn't bother us, but you know, anything can happen on a given night, and why would we risk that? No sale, Double J.

JJ: It’s funny Bobby, I always heard you were a weasel, not a chicken. But I guess you manage to be both.

BH: Do you think I was born yesterday? Maybe that sort of trick worked on the rubes your dad used to hire, but its not going to work on me. People have been calling me that for years, I'm still here, proving I'm the best manager this business has ever seen. Most of the haters are long gone. If your losers really want another match, you're going to have to a lot better than that. But I'll tell you, I don't think Bobby and Stan are interested, they want to move on to better things.

JJ: “Rubes my dad used to hire”… you mean rubes like Bobby Eaton? Stan Lane? Both of whom made their names working for my dad? I’d choose your words more carefully, Bobby. The Memphis talent tree has deep roots. But you know what? You and I made a deal. You granted the Valiants their shot at the road Warriors and we’re going to hold up our end of the bargain. I am right now pleased to announce the first match on the books for TCW 5, Global Gold: The Lethal Lottery. Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane will be challenging for the World Tag Team Championship against whoever the title holders are. Cause we’re men of our word.

BH: I'm glad to hear that Jeff, and who knows? Maybe you and Corney will surprise me and your broken down team will somehow win the titles before then. Then they can have their match. I never said EVERYONE your dad hired was a bad choice, even a blind squirrel finds the nut now and then. It's nice doing business with you, Double J.

JJ: good luck, Bobby. I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other down the road.

BH: Sure, I know a guy. When you get fired for finishing last in TCW this year I'll make sure I get you ringside tickets <<*Bobby Signs Off*>>

JJ: <<*chuckles*>> True to form. Folks, when we come back, Corney will rejoin me, I’m sure he’ll be the picture of calm. Also, we’ll be making another major announcement about Global Gold: the Lethal Lottery! But first, a word from our sponsors.

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Jeff Jarrett: We are back. Those were certainly a fine selection of products and or services. Let’s all think about purchasing those.

<<*Cornette calmly walks into the studio, takes his seat, and puts on his headphones*>>

JJ: You okay, Corney?

Jim Cornette: Just fine, Jeff.

JJ: really?

JC: yup. I want to thank Bobby Heenan for coming on the show today. For one thing, he showed everyone that the yellow streak down his back is a mile wide and ten miles long. Second, he accidentally showed us our path forward. All we have to do to get the match we want is…

JJ: Beat the Road Warriors.

JC: Yup. I didn’t say it was going to be easy. Who’s got control of TCW 4?

JJ: OBE.

JC: Well, I guess I have a phone call to make.

JJ: sounds like it.

JC: Oh, by the way, Boogie Woogie was eating a sandwich in the kitchen and he told me he wants to challenge Gorgeous George to a one-on-one match up. Apparently he just now remembered what happened at Survival of the Fittest.

JJ: Is he okay?

JC: I think he might have a concussion. I’m gonna get him checked out after this.

JJ: Right. So, I promised a major announcement about the Lethal Lottery at Global Gold and here it is. Each TCW faction will provide one person who will be entered into the Lethal Lottery. Three random teams will then be drawn right here on the Mavericks of Wrestling Podcast. Those three teams will participate in a round robin tournament, with the team that wins the round robin getting one point for each of their factions. But that’s not all, the two members of the winning team will then have a choice. They can either face off against each other, with the winner getting the third point, or, immediately challenge for the United States tag team titles with the bonus point also on the line, where the faction of the wrestler that scores the deciding pin fall or submission winning the third and final bonus point for his faction. But it has to be unanimous and they will have to choose before the teams are drawn. If one chooses fight each other and the other chooses to challenge for the belts, the third point is forfeit. And don’t worry folks, we’ll have another team standing by to challenge for the US titles just in case that happens.

JC: it’s like the prisoner's dilemma.

JJ: that’s why it’s the lethal lottery.

JC: Did Russo give you this idea?

JJ: it’s gonna be great Corney, just wait and see.

JC: Let’s wrap this up so I can go call the guy from Trainspotting.

JJ: Mavericks Nation, that’s all for this episode. Next time, we’ll have more news on Global Gold: The Lethal Lottery. We’ll discuss the results of TCW 4. And we’ll have another guest. See you next time.