TCW III: Survival of the Fitteset

Pre-Show: World Heavyweight Champion Pampero Firpo was shown backstage at catering with a plate full of oysters in front of him. He'd just slurped the second one clean, when Lord Ewan ran up. "Firpo, no!" he exclaimed in warning, and Firpo turned to look at him. "Stay away from those oysters, my good man. I've got a bad feeling about them ..." Ewan pushed the oysters away and then said, "Come along. I saw some salad back there."

Dave Taylor vs. Lenny Lane
Dave Taylor defeated Lenny Lane via ref stoppage (bear hug to atomic drop) at 2:46. 1/2*

The match was over quickly, with Taylor dominating the action. After a big inverted atomic drop, Lane screamed out in pain and clutched his crotch. After checking on him, the referee quickly called for the bell.

Post-Match: The trainer and referee checked on Lenny Lane, who continued grabbing his balls and yelling in pain. In short order, they were joined by more medical personnel, and eventually Lane was brought away from the ring on a stretcher, still holding his balls.

"Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig vs. "King" Harley Race
Curt Hennig defeated Harley Race via pinfall (HENNIG PLEX) at 6:23. **1/2

It was a short clinic of a match, as two of the greats in the ring locked up. The finish came when Hennig hit his finisher, but when Race emphatically kicked out, Hennig went right back to the well to hit it a second time and score the pin.

Post-Match: Hennig stood and offered his hand to Race as he rose. Race stared at him intensely for a moment, then swatted his hand away before leaving the ring.

"The God of Wrestling" Lou Thesz vs. Bobo Brazil
Lou Thesz defeated Bobo Brazil via pinfall (GRECO-ROMAN BACKDROP) at 7:28. ***

The first half of the match was all Bobo, who dominated the action but was unable to keep Thesz down. Thesz took advantage of a brief opening when he slipped out of a backbreaker, though, and made the most of it by hitting Brazil with a GRECO-ROMAN BACKDROP, a THESZ PRESS, and then another GRECO-ROMAN BACKDROP to score a turnaround win in convincing fashion.

Pre-Match: Tugboat Taylor came out alone and confused to start the match. Cameras cut away to the back, where Chaz and Scott were locked in their dressing room by a chain on the door. The camera panned to the right where Patton Oswalt and Brian Posehn - in the guises of Cubic Zirconia and Randall Tame - high-fived one another before running away and giggling.

Survival of the Fittest Qualifier

Order of the British Empire (Chaz, Scott, and Tugboat Taylor) vs. Macho Machines (Angelo Poffo, Diamond Dallas Page, and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan)
Diamond Dallas Page defeated Chaz Taylor via pinfall (DIAMOND CUTTER) at 7:47. **3/4

Despite starting alone, Tugboat Taylor was undeterred, cutting a path of destruction through his opponents in the early going before finally getting overwhelmed by the numbers. It looked bad for him, but Chaz and Scott ran down to the ring just at the right time, letting the big man get a hot tag out to Chaz. He came in on fire, nearly getting a pin on DDP with a superkick and again after a CHAZITIZER. As with too many people, though, he left Page an opening to hit the DIAMOND CUTTER, and that ended the night for the Taylors.

Survival of the Fittest Qualifier

Wasteland (Rob Van Dam, Blackjack Mulligan, and Magnum TA) vs. The Million Dollar Team ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase, "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, and Ivan Koloff)
Ivan Koloff defeated Rob Van Dam via pinfall (Russian Sickle) at 1:06. 1/2*

As the bell rang, Chelsea Green hopped on the ring and danced seductively to bait the hook, distracting Koloff, and then reeled him in by flashing him as the cameras cut away quickly. RVD took advantage and hit him with a spinning kick that knocked him into the ropes. He bounded off the opposite side of the ring for a big move, but an enraged Koloff caught him out of nowhere with a devastating RUSSIAN SICKLE and scored a shockingly quick win.

Post-Match: As DiBiase led his crew away laughing, RVD stayed down in the ring. Eventually, paramedics put a brace on his neck and got him out of the ring on a gurney.

Survival of the Fittest Qualifier

Natural Selection (The Midnight Express and James Snuka) vs. The Mavericks of Wrestling (The Original Midnight Express and Terry Gordy)
James Snuka defeated Terry Gordy via pinfall (SUPERFLY LEAP) at 6:12. *1/2

The Midnight Expresses proved to be evenly matched on this night, then Snuka got tagged in and called out Gordy. The big man happily complied, and the heavyweights slugged it out in the ring. Snuka's agility proved to be the advantage on this night, and the was able to get Gordy down and nail him with the SUPERFLY LEAP for the win.

TCW US Tag Team Championship Match

The Rock and Roll Express (C) vs. Vanity (#6)
Robert Gibson defeated Gorgeous George via pinfall (enzuigiri) at 8:03. *3/4
Order of the British Empire scored 1 point.

It was another classic, tag team clinic from the Rock and Roll Express. They isolated Gorgeous George about a minute in, then never lit him tag back out. George fought admirably, but he was worn down by lightning offense and quick tags before Robert put his lights out with a back brain kick.

TCW US Heavyweight Championship Match

Barry Windham (C) vs. The Destroyer (#4)
The Destroyer defeated Barry Windham via submission (FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK) at 8:31. *3/4
The Destroyer won the TCW US Heavyweight Championship
Macho Machines scored 2 points

The two men had a great back and forth exchange, with Windham recovering from a DDT on the outside to catch The Destroyer in a surprise sleeper and wear him down for a while. After getting dropped with a suplex, The Destroyer rolled out of the ring and was chased by Windham, who ate a lariat almost immediately for his troubles. The Destroyer rolled him back and in and went up top for two consecutive flying clotheslines. He was then able to position Windham perfectly in the middle of the ring and lock in the FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK. With no avenue for escape, Windham had to tap out.

Backstage: TCW backstage reporter Veda Scott gave a report after meeting with the medical staff. She reported that Rob Van Dam seems to have avoided serious injury, with a slight sprain in his neck, and is expected to possibly miss next month's action. Lenny Lane's injury was confirmed to be a ruptured testicle, which should take two months to heal.

SURVIVE ANDRE

"The Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers vs. Andre the Giant
Andre the Giant defeated Buddy Rogers via pinfall (BIG SPLASH) at 9:10. *1/4
Natural Selection scored 3 points

Rogers outwrestled Andre the entire match, keeping his distance and working at the big man's legs. All it took was one mistake from Rogers, though, who went up top when he got Andre down and went for a big elbow drop, which Andre managed to avoid. From there, it was academic, with Andre's strength punishing Rogers before putting him away with the BIG SPLASH.

Post-Match: Commissioner Dragon, who had appeared at the top of the ramp with a clipboard and stopwatch shortly after the bell rang, punched his stopwatch as soon as the bell rang three. He wrote something down and nodded in approval, giving Rogers applause for his effort against the big man.

Backstage: The cameras cut away to backstage, where chaos was in the air as the Valiants and Vanity brawled among the equipment. Security broke up the scrum as quickly as they could, but Jimmy had been busted wide open in the fracas.

Survival of the Fittest Battle Royal

Macho Machines (Angelo Poffo, Diamond Dallas Page, and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan) vs. The Million Dollar Team ("The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase, "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, and Ivan Koloff) vs. Natural Selection (The Midnight Express and James Snuka)
Jimmy Snuka eliminated Ivan Koloff at :27
Steve Williams eliminated Stan Lane at 1:47
Jim Duggan eliminated James Snuka at 2:27
Steve Williams eliminated (2) Diamond Dallas Page at 2:59
Steve Williams eliminated (3) Angelo Poffo at 4:34
Steve Williams eliminated (4) Ted DiBiase at 5:38
Steve Williams eliminated (5) Jim Duggan at 5:38
Steve Williams eliminated (6) Bobby Eaton at 6:47.
The Million Dollar Team won Survival of the Fittest
The Million Dollar Team scored 3 points

"Dr. Death" lived up to his name here, single-handedly eliminating six of the eight other competitors in the match. He got a double elimination on DiBiase and Hacksaw, who was struggling to get DiBiase out of the ring, when Doc dumped Hacksaw and ended up wiping them both out. DiBiase was furious and scolded Williams, which gave Eaton an opening to try to get him out. Doc used his power to stay in it, though, and when Eaton backed up for a lariat to try to take him out, Williams sent him flying with a back body drop to take the victory.

TCW World Tag Team Championship Match

The Road Warriors (C) vs. The Valiant Brothers (#3)
Hawk defeated Johnny Valiant via pinfall (DOOMSDAY DEVICE) at 4:45. *1/2
Wasteland scored 2 points

The Road Warriors once again dominated their competition, making short work of the softened-up Valiants before putting away Johnny with the fearsome DOOMSDAY DEVICE.

TCW World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match

"The Raging Bull of the Pampas" Pampero Firpo (C) vs. Bruiser Brody (#2)
Bruiser Brody defeated Pampero Firpo via cage escape (JUMPING KNEE DROP) at 12:24. ***1/4
Bruiser Brody won the TCW World Heavyweight Championship
Natural Selection scored 4 points

In a great match, Bruiser Brody came out strong to start the match as many expected, hitting a big flying clothesline and a JUMPING KNEE DROP early, but he couldn't keep Firpo down long enough to escape. Firpo was able to recover and gain the advantage after a big mistake from Brody off the top rope, but despite wearing Brody down in EL GARFIO for more than a minute, he couldn't escape either. The knockout blow was Brody dropping Firpo with a big boot then going up top, hitting Firpo with a JUMPING KNEE DROP from the top rope as he stood, crumpling him awkwardly and giving Brody time to escape the cage and win the World Heavyweight Championship!