TCW XIII: Ballroom Blitzkrieg

Pre-Show: An event from just before the PPV started was shown, as the camera caught Dave Batista being held, with a Road Warrior on each arm. As he struggled, Terry Gordy ran up to him with an entire spiral cut ham, smashing it against his head and sending the meat exploding everywhere. "Hamm Hamm, huh?" Gordy taunted over the downed Batista, shoving multiple slices in his mouth. He picked up a couple for himself, eating them greedily as he and the Road Warriors walked off.

TCW World Heavyweight Championship match

Nick Bockwinkel (C) vs. The Destroyer (#1)
The Destroyer defeated Nick Bockwinkel via second stoppage (bow and arrow) at 11:38. *3/4
The Destroyer won the TCW World Heavyweight Championship.
Macho Machines scored four points.

In a shockingly uncompetitive match, the Destroyer dominated Bockwinkel from the opening bell. The last half of the match saw Bockwinkel get in no offense as the Destroyer hit big move after big move, just never able to keep the champ down. He finally hit a massive backbreaker and locked the champ in a bow and arrow submission in the middle of the ring. Bockwinkel kept fighting but eventually stopped responding to the referee as the Destroyer torqued back gruesomely on the hold. In a panic, Jeff Jarrett threw in the towel at ringside - against Curt Hennig's desires - and the referee called for the bell to give the match, and the title, to the Destroyer.

Pre-Match: As Vachon came down to ringside, Hansen ran up behind him and walloped him with the cowbell at the end of the bullrope. He then hooked the rope around his neck and dragged him to the ring as Vachon fought against it, and the referee called for the bell as soon as the two entered the ring.

Mad Dog Vachon vs. Stan "The Lariat" Hansen
Mad Dog Vachon defeated Stan Hansen via disqualification (choke with bullrope) at 4:51. DUD

This was not a wrestling match. Stan Hansen was out for blood. After the opening bell, most of the five minutes was spent outside. The match's end saw Hansen with his rope around Vachon's neck, pulling him back against the ringpost as he choked him and used his foot for leverage. The bell rang frantically as more and more officials swarmed to separate the two after the disqualification.

The Fantastics and Brian Christopher vs. Ladies' Choice and Joe Blanchard
Tommy Rogeres defeated Chris Candido via pinfall (ROCKET LAUNCHER) at 4:58. 1/4*

It was another statement victory for the Fantastics, who dominated the action en route to a quick victory.

Backstage: Dave Batista, with an ice pack on his head, was on the phone in his dressing room. "No, I'm fine. I'm fine! It's not a concussion, it's just a headache. Leave me alone." He hung up and tossed his phone to Satnam Singh, who sat on a couch on the other side of the room. "No more calls, big man."

TCW US Heavyweight Championship Match

"The Raging Bull of the Pampas" Pampero Firpo (C) vs. Diamond Dallas Page (#6)
Diamond Dallas Page defeated Pampero Firpo via disqualification (Sheepherders interference) at 6:02. DUD

The Sheepherders accompanied Firpo to ringside, and it was their presence that proved to be the deciding factor in the match. As DDP bumped into Luke on the outside, they took it as a personal affront and jumped him. Firpo briefly tried to stop them, but quickly joined in joyfully on the triple team to leave the ref no choice but to ring the bell.

The Rock and Roll Express vs. Jim Brunzell and Masked Superstar
Robert Gibson defeated Masked Superstar via submission (GIBSON LEGLOCK) at 22:13. ***3/4

The match was a long, crowd pleasing affair, but you can't help but feel that Ricky and Robert could have put it away sooner. Neither were ever covered or in a submission, and merely seemed to want to make a statement while getting in their cardio.

"The Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers vs. "The Man of a Thousand Holds" Johnny Saint
Buddy Rogers defeated Johnny Saint via submission (FIGURE FOUR GRAPEVINE) at 8:13. *1/2

It was a mat wrestling clinic from both men, but at the end of the day, Rogers won out. He locked in the FIGURE FOUR GRAPEVINE, and Saint rolled it over to reverse it. Rogers had obviously expected that, however, rolling again with the momentum to the middle of the ring and applying a bridge on it to get the submission victory.

TCW US Tag Team Championship Match

The Blackjacks (C) vs. The Armstrongs (#9)
Barry Windham defeated Brad Armstrong via pinfall (flying cross body) at 6:55. 3/4*
The Mavericks of Wrestling score one point.

The Blackjacks once again displayed their tag dominance, controlling the entire match against the Armstrongs en route to a quick win.

Winner Gets a World Tag Team Title Shot

The Rat Pack vs. The Midnight Express
Stan Lane defeated Steve Williams via pinfall (RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP) at 11:21. **3/4

The Rat Pack dominated most of the match, but the Midnight Express made the most of their singular mistake. Williams went for a big spear, and Eaton caught him flush with a knee. In succession, the Midnight Express then hit an ALABAMA JAM, a FLAPJACK, DARK SIDE, none of which kept Williams down, before Lane finally hit his finisher to keep the big man down and win the title shot.

SURVIVE ANDRE

Andre the Giant vs. The Machines
Andre the Giant defeated Brutus Beefcake via pinfall (big boot to face) at 23:51. ****3/4
Macho Machines scored three points.

The Machines proved once again that they were one of TCW's premier tag teams, getting several nearfalls on the Eighth Wonder of the World and Valentine even getting him mostly up for a shoulder breaker. The giant was too much for them, though, eventually levelling Beefcake with a yakuza style kick and falling on him for the three count.

Pre-Match:

The Natural Selection team's entrance for Trial by Combat was a spectacle, with Batista, in fresh blue trunks, did his machine gun pyro entrance with Heenan by his side, adorned with oversized foam spikes and clown makeup in mockery of the Road Warriors. Lynn looked on bemused, but joined his teammates as they marched down to prepare for the match.

Trial by Combat for the TCW World Tag Team Championship Match

The Road Warriors and Terry "Bamm Bamm" Gordy vs. Jerry Lynn, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, and "Big" Dave Batista
Dave Batista kind of defeated Animal via cage escape at 7:14.
Terry Gordy defeated Jerry Lynn via pinfall (face into cage) at 13:43.
Hawk defeated Bobby Heenan via pinfall (DOOMSDAY DEVICE) at 22:46.
Animal defeated Jerry Lynn via pinfall (face into cage) at 36.54. ***1/2
The Chicago Winners scored two points.

The match started off with Jerry Lynn against Animal, and the two wore one another down with big moves and nearfalls. Heenan tagged in after a CRADLE PILEDRIVER and tried for a pin with the ropes, but Animal kicked him off and he quickly tagged out to Batista.

As Dave got in the ring, though, Satnam Singh ran down to the ring, gesticulating wildly with a phone in the air. He tossed it in to Batista, who caught it, then stepped back through the ropes to take it. He grew increasingly agitated during the call, then finally sighed in resignation as the call ended. Dave tossed the phone back out to Satnam and came back in, seemingly trying to explain to the referee that he had to leave, while the referee explained that he can't just do that. Dave then went over to the other team with his hands up to plead his case. They listened to him warily, then huddled up for a discussion. As they broke the huddle, Animal pointed to Dave, then pointed to the top of the cage, yelling "Get out!" Dave flashed a big smile and a thumbs up at Animal, then turned to give Lynn and Heenan a double thumbs-up before he climbed the cage to "win" the first fall.

Heenan sent in Lynn to face Animal once again, and he was rewarded with a big lariat and a DOOMSDAY DEVICE, which he miraculously kicked out of. Hawk then tagged in Gordy, who worked Lynn over for four minutes before hitting his POWER BOMB for the fall. With Gordy now out of the match, Hawk and Animal worked over Lynn, hitting two more DOOMSDAY DEVICES befroeLynn was able to crawl over to Heenan to tag out. Heenan was quickly decimated by the Road Warriors en route to two more DOOMSDAY DEVICES before Hawk finally took the pinfall. Heenan threw Lynn back into the ring to face Animal, both men worn down. Animal was in better shape, though, and the two brawled for nearly fifteen minutes, with Lynn occasionally getting a quick breather by tagging in Heenan to distract Animal for a few seconds. Animal was too much for Jerry Lynn, though, eventually getting the pin after ramming his opponent repeatedly into the cage bars.

Ballroom Blitzkrieg for the Money in 'da Bag Title Shot

Marty Jannetty vs. "The Living Legend" Larry Zbyszko vs. "The King" Harley Race vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage vs. Bruiser Brody vs. "The God of Wrestling" Lou Thesz
Randy Savage defeated Marty Jannetty via pinfall (flying axe handle) at 9:07.
Harley Race defeated Randy Savage via pinfall (PILEDRIVER) at 9:56.
Larry Zbyszko defeated Bruiser Brody via disqualification (chairshot) at 15:55.
Lou Thesz defeated Larry Zbyszko at 32:15.
Lou Thesz defeated Harley Race via pinfall (GRECO-ROMAN BACKDROP) at 36:32. ****3/4
Lou Thesz won the Money in 'da Bag Title Shot.

The match started with Randy Savage, still fully covered by his robe, stepping in against Marty Jannetty and Larry Zbyszko. Savage threw his robe off to reveal himself as Randall Tame, throwing the whole proceeding into disarray. The real Macho Man slid into the ring from beneath as Jannetty superkicked Tame out of his boots, then hit Jannetty with an axe-handle to the spine to start the match proper.

Jannetty and Zbyszko showed great teamwork at the start of the match, working over Savage and isolating him from tagging out. Savage struck like lightning, though, catching Jannetty with a flying axe handle as he came into the ring after an outside brawl and knocking him cold to eliminate him. The ten minutes took a toll on Savage, though, and Race capitalized by rushing in with a flurry of punches before a devastating PILEDRIVER to eliminate Macho Man. Lou Thesz stepped into the ring against Race and Zbyszko, and the crowd buzzed as the two circled, then Thesz shot in only for Race to outwrestle him into a backbreaker for a nearfall. The match continued, with Brody getting tagged in, and when he and Zbyszko spilled out of the ring, Brody grabbed a nearby chair for a blatant chairshot, forcing the ref to call for the disqualification.

Thesz now stood alone against Race and Zbyszko, and the two operated as a unit, using their advantage over Thesz. Zbyszko had Thesz in a corner and went for a big shoulder tackle, but Thesz moved and the Living Legend went flying to the outside. Thesz then sent Race flying with a dropkick, and when Larry Z crawled back in to beat the count, Thesz met him with a GRECO-ROMAN BACKDROP for the three count. It was down to Race and Thesz, but the former legend was in much better shape than the other, though. Thesz got the better of their initial wrestling exchange, though, and never let up the pressure on Race en route to scoring the pinfall via his GRECO-ROMAN BACKDROP.

Slay the Dragon

"The American Dragon" Bryan Danielson vs. Angelo Poffo
Bryan Danielson defeated Angelo Poffo via submission (LABELL LOCK) at 10:47. ***1/2

Danielson started quick with a flurry of offense, locking Poffo in a lengthy GUILLOTINE CHOKE, but Poffo refused to submit, eventually getting a rope. Danielson was quick to follow up with an Irish whip for a back body drop, but Poffo capitalized by catching him with a piledriver. As Danielson struggled to get up, Poffo hit him with a curb stomp not once, but twice, sending Danielson rolling out of the ring for a breather. As he rolled back in, Poffo hit his NECKBREAKER twice for two near falls, but the Dragon was clearly worse for wear. A third NECKBREAKER didn't get the pinfall, leaving Poffo frusterated. He went for a fourth, but Danielson slipped out, nailed a massive European uppercut, then slapped on the LABELL LOCK in the middle of the ring to score the perhaps pyrrhic victory.

Post-Match: Danielson rolled off of Poffo and laid on his back as the referee raised his hand. Medical staff swarmed the ring, checking on Danielson, eventually putting him a neck brace before stretchering him out of the ring.