TCW IV: Teatime

Pre-Show: After greeting the crowd watching on PPV, Lance Catamaran introduced a scene that happened shortly before the show went on air. Back in catering, James Snuka was next to Animal at the table when Terry Gordy came screaming up with a chair. Snuka ducked, and Gordy's chair shot busted Animal wide open. Security was quick to keep any further shenanigans from occurring, and Commissioner Dragon, who was nearby, banned Gordy from the building for the rest of the night.

TCW World Tag Team Championship Match

The Road Warriors (C) vs. The Original Midnight Express (#4)
Hawk defeated Dennis Condrey via pinfall (DOOMSDAY DEVICE) at 3:05. *1/2
Wasteland scored two points

The Midnights looked like they had some hope early on, when Condrey rolled up a groggy Animal after dodging a turnbuckle charge for a two count. It didn't last long, though, as Animal took the fight outside and got the upper hand brawling. A POWER SLAM and a DOOMSDAY DEVICE later, and the Road Warriors' night was over.

Backstage: DDP walked up to the Rock and Roll express with a friendly greeting. "Boys, I've got someone who wants to say hello!" The crowd, watching on the Andretron, cheered wildly as Randy Savage came into view, on TCW programming for the first time since night two of TCW I. The four exchanged pleasantries, and Robert acknowledged that he was glad to see Randy again.

Savage opened up his robe and produced two large bottles of whiskey. "Will you drink to that?" Both Ricky and Robert nodded their enthusiastic agreement. "Not as much as I will," Savage quipped, as he produced shot glasses from somewhere - it's not really clear - and the foursome started pounding back shots.

The Taylors (Scott and Chaz) vs. The Valiant Brothers
Johnny Valiant defeated Chaz Taylor via pinfall (face slam to canvas) at 3:02. *1/4

It was a quick showcase for the Valiants, who were eager to bounce back from last month's loss and won in dominating fashion.

US Heavyweight Championship Qualifier Match

Barry Windham (#4) vs. James Snuka (#5)
Barry Windham defeated James Snuka via pinfall (SWEETWATER SUPERPLEX) at 6:07. **1/4

Windham was determined to get his title back tonight, and Snuka was on the wrong end of the big Texan's wrath. Snuka took a lot of punishment, kicking out of a LARIAT, a SWEETWATER SUPERPLEX, and a big cross body, but a third application of one of Windham's finishers kept him down for good.

Pre-Match: The ring announcer, Renee Paquette, stood at the top of the ramp as the China Shop Match was set up, and explained the rules. There were no countouts or disqualifications, no rope breaks, and pinfalls and submissions could happen either in the ring or in the immediate ringside area, but not on the ramp, in the crowd or backstage. The camera panned back to the ring, and large shelves full of china had been set up outside the ring, along with two full table settings for tea in the ring. As Firpo was announced, he ran down to the ring at full speed, head down, and wearing a tux. He gracefully danced around a shelf full of china before sliding in the ring and sitting down politely at one of the tables.

China Shop Match

Pampero Firpo vs. Magnum T.A.
Pampero Firpo defeated Magnum T.A. via submission (EL GARFIO) at 9:41. **1/4
Order of the British Empire scored one point

As the match started, Firpo gestured for Magnum to sit down. He was confused, but he took the invitation. Firpo picked up the nearby kettle and poured two cups of tea, then delicately put in a cube of sugar in each one before handing one to Magnum and then offering a toast. They clinked teacups, then Firpo tossed his tea in Magnum's face and dove across the table at him. Magnum never really recovered from this unexpected onslaught, and eventually tapped out as Firpo had him locked in EL GARFIO under one of the tables.

China Shop Match

Pampero Firpo vs. Iron Sheik
Iron Sheik defeated Pampero Firpo via pinfall (sidewinder suplex) at 8:49. *3/4
The Million Dollar Team scored one point

There was no element of surprise this time, and most of the match took place out of the ring. Firpo got a near fall after whipping Sheik into the barricade and then charging through it with a big knee lift, but couldn't get the pinfall in the crowd. Eventually, Sheik took over after no-selling a bite, hitting a big lariat, then nailing four straight suplexes, the last one a sidewinder into a china shelf, causing the whole thing to get knocked over, to get the pinfall.

China Shop Match

Pampero Firpo vs. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
Jim Duggan defeated Pampero Firpo via pinfall (FLYING SPEAR) at 7:04. *3/4
Macho Machines scored one point

Firpo was exausted and beaten up when the match started, and Duggan was able to take advantage of it. The Wild Bull of the Pampas fought bravely, but the fatigue and damage was too much. Duggan got a nearfall outside of the ringwith a spinning bodyslam, then set Firpo up against a china shelf and hit the FLYING SPEAR, sending them both through it. Duggan landed on top of him, and the referee counted the three to end the crowd-pleasing spectacle.

Backstage: Randy Savage, DDP, and the Rock and Roll Express were all still drinking, with a full bottle of whiskey already gone. In full view of everyone, including Ricky and Robert, "Randall Tame" and "Cubic Zirconia" swapped out as DDP and Savage lurched off, and took their place in the ongoing drinking contest. Ricky and Robert, apparently too drunk to notice or care, poured more shots and the debauchery continued.

The Bolsheviks vs. The Midnight Express
Nikolai Volkoff defeated Bobby Eaton via pinfall (throat drop on ropes) at 6:27. *

In a somewhat surprising outcome, the Bolsheviks showed better team cohesion than the Midnight Express, keeping Eaton isolated and double-teaming him at every opportunity en route to scoring the upset win.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Bobo Brazil
Bobo Brazil defeated Diamond Dallas Page via pinfall (COCO BUTT) at 3:59. *1/2

Chelsea Green accompanied Brazil to ringside, and made her presence felt in the finish. Page, who was feeling the effects of the whiskey, was in control after a flying clothesline, when Brazil rolled to the outside. Page followed, but Chelsea cut him off, displaying her charms and rubbing her finger across his cheek. The intoxicated Page fell for the bait, and Brazil came up from behind him with a COCO BUTT. He threw him back in the ring to nail a second one, then got the pinfall victory.

Best Two of Three Falls

"The God of Wrestling" Lou Thesz vs. "The Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers
Buddy Rogers defeated Lou Thesz via submission (FIGURE FOUR GRAPEVINE) at 2:37.
Lou Thesz defeated Buddy Rogers via pinfall (dropkicks) at 28:17.
Lou Thesz defeated Buddy Rogers via pinfall (GRECO-ROMAN BACKDROP) at 29:00. *****

The match started out hot, with Rogers showing unexpected aggression. He caught Thesz with a big dropkick for a two count and then immediately wrapped him up in the FIGURE FOUR GRAPEVINE. Thesz looked for an out, but not seeing one, he tapped out and gave up the fall to avoid serious damage.

For the next twenty-five minutes, the two men traded big moves and pinfalls, and the crowd was wild. Over the course of the full match, Thesz kicked out of pin attempts from Rogers three times, and Rogers himself kicked out five times. As the match passed the twenty-eight minute mark, Thesz returned the favor from earlier in the match and caught Rogers with a massive dropkick and evened up the match at one fall each. After the quick break to reset, Thesz slipped behind the weary Rogers to hit the GRECO-ROMAN BACKDROP and take the final fall almost immediately to win the full match.

Post-Match: As the two competitors showed respect to one another in the ring, Commissioner Dragon jogged down to the ring, clipboard and stopwatch in hand, cheering for both from ringside. As they cleared the ring, Danielson moved over and sat at the commentary table, ready to take notes and keep time on the upcoming match.

SURVIVE ANDRE

Andre the Giant vs. Johnny Valentine
Andre the Giant defeated Johnny Valentine via pinfall (BIG SPLASH) at 15:05. ****1/2
Order of the British Empire scored 3 points.

In another absolutely fantastic match, Johnny Valentine gave everything he possibly could in fighting the giant. It seemed like nothing could keep Valentine down, even four straight sitdown splashes from Andre. Despite suffering massive punishment at the big man's hands, Valentine was able to slip out of the ring and take control. He managed to get two pinfall attempts on Andre, even, but couldn't keep him down. At the end of the match, Andre wore him down a bear hug, dropped him with a bearhug, and then nailed the BIG SPLASH to take the win.

Post-Match: Commissioner Dragon made a show of hitting his stopwatch and jotting down the time, then gave Valentine a big thumbs up. With a nod of his head, he collected his things, said goodbye to Lance Catamaran and Veda Scott at the commentary desk, and then made his way backstage with Andre.

"The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase vs. "Ball Buster" Dave Taylor
Ted DiBiase defeated Dave Taylor via submission (COBRA CLUTCH) at 11:06. ***1/4

DiBiase wasn't taking this match seriously at the start, and Taylor showed that to be a mistake with an early flurry of offense. DiBiase rallied and seemed to have a pinfall after a gut wrench suplex, but Billie Piper distracted the referee from getting the pinfall. As DiBiase argued, Taylor came back and hit two big BRITISH SUPLEXES, but neither could keep DiBiase down. Taylor followed up with a whip into the ropes and charged at DiBiase, but he dodged and rolled Taylor up. Piper distracted the referee again, and a furious DiBiase locked in the COBRA CLUTCH as he shouted, "Idiot! Over here!" The ref got in place as Taylor tapped to the submission hold.

Post-Macth: DiBiase walked over to Billie Piper and started yelling at her, but the beauty went right up to him and yelled back. WIth DiBiase distracted, Taylor got up and punted him between the legs, leaving him laying as he and Piper left the ring.

Pre-Match: After Harley Race entered the ring for his match, the lights in the arena went down for more than thirty seconds. Eventually a spotlight hit the top of the ramp, where Curt Hennig, in an oversized cowboy hat, stood in front of a microphone. Eventually, three more spotlights hit Jeff Jarrett on guitar, Tully Blanchard on Bass, and Barry Windham behind the drums, as the Four Horsemen launched into their rendition of "Rap Is Crap." Race seethed in the ring as he watched the spectacle, his face a mask of rage as the song ended and Hennig made his way into the ring.

Battle for the Crown

"The King" Harley Race vs. "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig
Harley Race defeated Curt Hennig via pinfall (PILEDRIVER) at 16:05. ****

Hennig put his speed advantage over Race to good use early on, controlling the early portions of the match and, quite frankly, outwrestling him. He eventually locked the King into a HENNIG PLEX, but the Race kicked out emphatically. Kurt kept trying to wear him down, hitting him with a series of forearm hammers, but each blow just made Race more angry. Eventually, he caught the blow with one hand and rolled it into a swinging neckbreaker, dropping Hennig. From there, he hit two VERTICAL SUPLEXES, but Hennig kicked out of both, and then he likewise kicked out of two big cross body blocks from the top. "Dammit, Curt! You're better than this!" Race yelled, then he picked Hennig up and dropped him with a PILEDRIVER. Rather than get the pinfall, Race picked him up again, said "This last one's for your father, boy" and then hit him with a second consecutive PILEDRIVER before mercifully covering Hennig and getting the victory.

Post-Match: After the match, Race stood by with his crown in hand as Hennig scraped himself off of the mat. Hennig started to try to bow, per the match's stipulation, but Race stopped him. "Don't," he insisted. "You don't need to bow to me. You don't need to bow to anyone. You need to be the TCW World Champion. Go and do it." Race left the ring, never looking back, as Hennig's eyes bored a hole into the back of his head.

Backstage: Dr. House walked up to the drinking competition, which was still ongoing. Kinda. "Randall Tame" and "Cubic Zirconia" had long since passed out, and Ricky and Robert were just taking alternating slugs off of the bottle. "Doc House!" Robert exclaimed as he saw OBE's chief medical officer walk up. "Come drink with us!"

"What are you even doing?" he scolded them. "You've got a match up shortly." They started to protest, but he cut them off. "No time for that, just come with me. We've got to get you two ready."

US Heavyweight Championship Match

The Destroyer (C) vs. Barry Windham (#4)
Barry Windham defeated The Destroyer via pinfall (LARIAT) at 6:25. **1/2
Barry Windham won the US Heavyweight Championship
The Mavericks of Wrestling scored two points

It was a short, brutal match, that saw each man get multiple pin attempts and survive their opponent's finisher. Windham was not to be denied tonight, though, reclaiming his title after a big power slam, a SWEETWATER SUPERPLEX, and a LARIAT.

US Tag Team Championship Match

The Rock and Roll Express (C) vs. The Machines (#5)
Ricky Morton defeated Greg Valentine via pinfall (DOUBLE DROPKICK) at 4:52. *1/4
Order of the British Empire scored one point

Dr. House herded his men to the ring to start the match, and while they were clearly not themselves, once in the ring, they seemed to just wrestle by muscle memory. They hit Valentine with a sloppy DOUBLE DROPKICK, not quite catching him flush, and he kicked out. Dr. House instructed them to do it again, so with another flash tag, they nailed their finisher one more time, this one square on the jaw to retain their titles.

TCW World Heavyweight Championship Match

Bruiser Brody (C) vs. "Dr. Death" Steve Williams (#3)
Bruiser Brody defeated Steve Williams via disqualification at 3:43. 1/2*
Natural Selection scored two points

Shortly after the bell rang, the familiar costume of The Executioner appeared at ringside in support of Dr. Death. Brody, who was in charge of the action early, nailed Dr. Death with a big clothesline from the top rope and went for the cover, but The Executioner pulled him outside the ring. Doc quickly followed and confronted The Executioner, then the duo turned and leveled Brody with big right hands. The ref tried to maintain order, but they laid into Brody with kicks and punches before finally hitting him with a double-team power bomb on the mat as the ref called for the bell. The duo high-fived over the fallen form of the champion as the broadcast ended.